Madonna has always been Madonna, reinventing herself, pulling from here and there and what’s relevant, as she’s always done, commercializing and making new again, whether it’s Vogue or Kazaky. For this album she even decided to snatch lots of her own material. She’s been around for a minute, has faced the music, still looks great and still bringing it, and you probably already have your concert tickets. With that said, this album is a bit all over the place with some hits & misses, let’s dig in.
GIRL GONE WILD – It’s hypnotic, erotic, pushing the beat, club ready and you can’t deny it. Madonna’s a Leo, and no one can put out her fire. This track is hot, sexual, uninhibited and no one said it better than La Lauper, girls just wanna have fun. It justifies my love, expresses my self and is part of our human nature, making it a top 3! Kazaky compliments the video nicely, but it’s nothing we haven’t already seen. She knows she shouldn’t act that way, but Madge has always been a bad girl, and she can afford to be.
B-DAY SONG (feat M.I.A.) – I feel like sitting at Johnny Rockets eating onion rings & watching the Brady Bunch. It’s my muthafkin birthday and I’m a happy girl! In fact, I’m gonna have me an extra thick strawberry milkshake while I shimmy. We’re high and we still stay sober. I’m feeling like grease and I love it, maybe it’s the burger. Burp. I’m a Sinner prequel, an American Pie follow up and Austin Powers comeback.
GANG BANG – The best track on the album, guns down! Deep, dark, haunting and you’re waiting for something to come snatch you up like Jeepers Creepers while you’re driving in the pussy wagon. The beat sling shots between a bitch out of order and a bat out of hell. It’s Rodriguez, Tarantino, Kill Bill, True Blood & The Walking Dead in one. It slows down like a zombie, and I’m in a matrix dodging bullets. My destination is hell where lots of my friends are waiting, carrying the fiercest handbags & doing runway. That’s what hell feels like for a girl. Now drive bitch, and step on it!
I’M ADDICTED – Stuck in a funky 80s tetris rave, I want to make static love with my kaleidoscope 3D glasses. Then, I find myself in a roller skating rink on a Saturday night and I got a fever, but I’m hardly sick.
TURN UP THE RADIO – Don’t ask me where, I just want to get in my car and go. Can you just turn up the radio? Actually, can you change the station, maybe Beyonce’s radio? It never lets me down, and I feel so in love with her stereo that this channel left me wanting more.
GIVE ME ALL YOUR LUVIN – Appropriate for the Super Bowl and that’s about it. Nothing grand, bordering on cheesy but you can’t help but jump around like a lil cheerleader. I wrote a short poem at the time, it wasn’t even that harsh & I still lost some friends on FB b/c of it. lol You know those crazy, bipolar, MADonna queens. lol
I L.U.V. MADonna, I do I do I do
The new song is cute
Cheeky, cheery, ra ra ra
But please queens, relax
It’s not ALL that
Nicki & MIA look lost in time
Playing her sidelines
I don’t know, not much to say
I want more, it’s OK
Gap, Old Navy
SOME GIRLS – Roxy horns, get ready, set & & go! Run a way. Then we pause for a reminder not to get it twisted; this is another reminder that none of them can do it like me. I don’t want to be like some girls crying in their limousine? I may know who she speaks of but I ain’t saying anything. Besides, she’s not me, she doesn’t have my name, but she started dressing like me and talking like me and it freaked me out. But then I remembered I’m MD, the Queen! You can try to play the game with me but I know all the rules, and I even got the cheat codes! Back to the runway.
SUPERSTAR – Super Bowl Reject Song! Just makes me want to suck harder on my big, red, blow pop, blow a bubble and fast forward. It’s a remix of don’t give me all your luvin, a groupie song, written by a groupie & sung by a groupie. GMAYL is for the audience and this is for the MVP!
I DON’T GIVE A (feat Nicki Minaj a trois) – Is that Debbie Harry in Rapture? I forgot to say my prayers? The only thing interesting is Nicki, and not even, I don’t give a fk about this track really. It’s not a hot like fi ya, ain’t nobody gonna get those shoes outta… Aldo? Nicki might be on fi’ya but the rhyme is the same and it’s gettin ti’yad, hi ya, I’m Bruce Lee inspi’yad. It’s old school M vs. new school N M. It’s M-n-M’s.
LOVE SPENT – A banjo with some 80s freestyling ping pong electro pop & a 2 step. Just buy me a new pair of new jeans, spend your love on me, and while you’re at it, FF please. *Update – it’s growing on me more, and perhaps the reason I couldn’t get with it the first time, since it changes so much.
MASTERPIECE – Tango, cha cha, Spain or France, a refined and sophisticated isla bonita, it feels expensive talking about the Mona Lisa, as a remnant of Evita. It’s soft, elegant, and a great way to get a ballad in there that’s already established. I can sit all by myself, I don’t need anyone at all, I know I’ll survive, no one can take it from me. I’m a masterpiece.
BEAUTIFUL KILLER – It’s constant, ok, but something’s missing. The title suggests something harder, but this is too much fluff and doesn’t add up. He’s supposed to be a beautiful killer but he’s more like a beautiful stranger I’m not that interested in. I want to live, and besides, I already died another day.
I FUCKED UP – I f’d up, made a mistake, “I deserve it”, and no one does it better than myself. It sounds like I’m sorry, drum beats scuttling over the edge. It’s honest Madonna, confessing again, letting us know she’s not ashamed to say. She wishes she can have him back some day, or not, and therein lies the shade.
BEST FRIEND –It’s confusing, obstructing, back and forth fade in a lost voice (too airy) into a deep bass. OK, this track is all over the fucking place and I think it needs to be heard on a big system to make uo for the levels. And just when you get your marbles together the jolting vibrating beat comes in again. I feel like I’m Midge, lost in Madge’s vage, and it’s just rambling on into the nothing.
LOVE SPENT ACOUSTIC – I actually like it better than the un acoustic version. It’s more sincere, and I don’t mind the banjo as much, it’s a bit simpler, even if the one with all the beat changes keeps growing on me.
I’M A SINNER – Aside from GB I think it’s safe to say this is my favorite track. It starts out like a deep, dark tunnel, with specks of bright lights and fairies. I feel like a catholic school girl running through the cornfields wearing my psychedelic glasses. I see the flame, make my way to the race, the path is opening, I see my friend Molly & I’m in. It’s time to dance under the stars like a hippie with a wicked, permanent smile. All the boys and girls are like me, carrying and feeling free, quicker than a ray of light, a bunch of zephyrs in the sky at night. I feel very Donna Summer, I feel love I feel love I feeeeeel loooove. I easily predict this song to be her high wire act.
FALLING FREE – I’m in a Broadway play, stage ballet, spins, stops, gusts & silent leaps through the air. I play piano with the keyboard performing letters, explaining the feeling, singing loudly through my typing. I’m telling a tale like Frodo in the Lord of the Rings. I’m a legend. A Mer Girl.
IN ENDING, you’ll find that every song sounds like something she’s already done, as if this album is a remix of her own works. She doesn’t even need all the guest appearances you see with other albums. Besides, who else is she gonna bite off, might as well bite off yourself, ha ha! Is it too easy, or genius? You call the shots. Just play the songs on shuffle, they sound better that way.
Even if she’s still doing the same shit, she’s still being herself, keeping busy, and making music. She looks as fresh as Lola, and as classic as Bette Davis. Some may say it’s not age appropriate but wtf do you want her to sing, show tunes? She’s keeping it fresh, dustin off her shoulders like Selson Blue. She’s not trying to preach or convey a message, just having fun. Let huh be MD. She knows how to work the machine. She’s like a computer that gathers data, spits it out and every now and then she gets an upgrade!
Bang bang, new MDNA!