I LOVE SIA! I love her videos just as much as there’s always something you don’t expect. Not even 1 minute in & you can feel so much. Not to mention The Amazing Maddie is the dancer & makes the interpretation that much more powerful & compelling. Sia was addicted to pain killers & alcohol. The video, lyrics & dance combine perfectly to show control, yet no control, neglect, invisibility, shame, abandonment, entrapment & loneliness… all which she experienced. And in the end, even in her crazed state, she takes a bow… even though she doesn’t care for fame. In fact, there’s a clause in her contract with RCA that says she doesn’t have to promote her music, tour or deal with the press. She’s not pressed, her music speaks for itself.

Sinéad O’Connor

So last night I was randomly watching the Oprah Network’s “Where Are They Now” & there was a piece with Sinéad O’Connor, who we all know & love & who many despise. She was talking about how when she was being signed the executives were very touchy & forward & tried it with her. They told her she would look better if she grew out her hair & wore shorter skirts. That’s when she went to the barber & shaved off her hair. Everything she did was in opposition to who/what they wanted to make her. She said she purposely tried to become as unattractive as she could be as a way to protect herself. I can see why she wrote that open letter to Miley about having more control, which also made her out to look bitter. Fast forward to when she ripped up the pic of the Pope. That was in response to the Catholic Church & the sex scandals & child abuse, which she experienced, but since the news wasn’t out in the U.S. yet, she just looked even crazier when lots of other people understood what she was doing. Mind you she’s a priest & very devout. They were all well aware of it in Ireland but it didn’t hit our news till later, which also shows how they censor things here in the United States, they hide shit & pick & choose what to show or distract you with & can make you believe anything they want with a News Report. And everyone is always plastered to their TV believing in the magic box! She was told that she was mentally ill & (mis)diagnosed by doctors as bipolar (which wasn’t true) & they put her on meds & purposely made her out to look insane. She also used the phrase paparazzi lynching, where they seek out these celebs & take pictures of them “breaking down” & turning it tragic & they use this & other tactics when the people rebel to discredit them & keep them down. Artists are first & foremost there to express themselves. When that form of expression is robbed & controlled, it’s easy to see why someone would lose it & act out. It’s a great reminder of how/what you perceive from watching the media & TV vs. what’s really going on. Of course she encountered controversy; she was speaking out on what she wasn’t supposed to. She wasn’t being a good girl & following directions, keeping her mouth shut & looking pretty. Instead, she was more concerned with expressing her views on organized religion, women’s rights, war & child abuse. She had a few kids which helped distract her, but she suffered a lot & now it all makes sense to me, why she was the way she was & dressed the way she did/does. So kudos to Sinéad for being true to herself & never compromising or conforming. THAT takes strength!


My thoughts on THE FOLLOWING… I actually watched most of the first season, as much as I didn’t want to get into another show, lots of my friends were watching, it was interestingly twisted & kept you guessing. Yet, I couldn’t help but feel this underlying sense of darkness, distress & modern day insanity, and how you can’t trust anyone. I would tell Andre I don’t know why this show is on but something about it is not right. It left you here & there & not a good mental mind fuck sorta way like some other shows where the acting is clear acting. This show was kinda too real & one could see this happening today in our fucked up society.

The new season just started & we saw the first 5-10 mins last night & Andre said he didn’t want to watch it anymore & I literally & physically got upset. I didn’t like the emotion it was tapping into. We couldn’t continue, from watching how they start off with killing his wife & then the subway murder. It’s sick, brutal & warped in an abnormal & mentally disturbing kinda way vs. entertainment. I’ve just been noticing the formula lately for lots of shows & movies & it’s bothering me. You might say it’s just TV but to me it’s clear modern day Torture Porn desensitizing millions. So with that said, I will NOT be following THE FOLLOWING!

American Horror Story – The White Witch

THANK YOU AHS, for another wicked episode! This one should’ve been called Turnt, Turnt & Twirled… ala Misty Days. We have alliances forming, the devil/gatekeeper going bump in the night & Marie’s moppin’ babies! Fiona smacks the shit out of Cordelia, Misty does a death drop when she sees Stevie who gives an entire performance of “Rhiannon” (which casted a spell on all the witches) & we were twiiiirrrrrrrlllllled into the Crowning (Shawing) of the new White Witch Supreme. I love that she’s a white witch & I also love that Stevie is playing herself. The other girls can’t take it & are all competing. Broomstick to ATL anyone? Rat traps & mojito mixers, mayhem, sperm incense, voodoo dolls & Papa Legba, oh my! Misty gets knocked at the grave yard… she kinda was a stupid b!tch to let that happen & Madison is a total c u next Tuesday! WORK IT OUT NAN, SHE LOVES HER SOME LUKE… YOU GET REVENGE FOR YO MAN GIRL! Lol And those celestial tones, haha I love me some Myrtle & how she sounds like her throat got burned in the fire. She’s always serving sophisticated shade. Don’t be a h8ter dear… now back up, carry on, bottle some salad dressing & STFU! Lmao I mean what are your options when your Mother is Hillary Clinton? Cordelia lost it & Myrtle went back to her beats. I died! It was like a comic sketch. Fiona’s got the good stuff for Papa but gets no eternal deal since she’s a soulless witch, b!tch just can’t get a break! Lol Nan is feeling her oats & deemed dangerous so they drown her & give her to Papa. I wonder if she’ll be back or if she just went out with a big bang cause her character was totally on fire. We end with another performance from Stevie of “Has Anybody Ever Written Anything For You”, with Fiona reflecting with her messy self again. Coming up it appears that all the ho’s in this house are losing it & going after each other. They best get it together before the boys from ATL come back. And that’s a wrap! Or, a shawl.

American Horror Story – Coven – Heads (Recap)

AHS was all that & a bag of monkshood melons last night! We got a bit of history into Hank as a witch hunter. Fiona wants to talk terms & warns Marie at her salon that he’s coming but she laughs in her face & sends her away, while LaLaurie with her head literally in a box is still putting in her 2 cents. We get a look into The Initiative & learn there are more where Hank came from & his dad is the CEO. Myrtle serves up some of the fiercest human statue melon balls with power, compassion & uniqueness. Cecily’s fashion faux pas give her nightmares (haha) & she scoops out a pair of eyes for Cordelia, who can now see but no longer has the gift of deeper insight. Miss Myrtle is alive & well, she learned a few secrets in the flames, but Fiona still threatens to exile her to Paramus NJ, toxic waste & strip malls! LMAO. Fifi’s shady smile & should shrug is everything! Back at the hospital Madison is grossed out by sick ppl & Nan makes a connection with Luke & reads Joan directly from his mind. She’s worse than all the witches, a different kind of evil that hides behind religion. To think she was almost dead & now she finished off her son. You know she’s gonna pay! Poor Luke, he’s been through all that shit & back (no pun intended) Will he be resurrected too? Cause you know nobody dies on this show. And WTF happened to that dog that made Kyle normal? Queenie brings in fast food & Lala looking all hungry but she reminds her, “Bitch, you ain’t got no stomach!” LOL She proceeds to force her to watch old classic movies.. Mandingo, Color Purple (my favorite), Baps (LOL) & Roots, but she closed her eyes so she plays her some civil rights news & music. By the time she came around & changed with a tear, it was too late. Marie did some voodoo on Hank, who came back to wipe out the entire salon while “Freedom Over Me” played in the background. Queenie saves Marie & she’s history, what a precious moment. Marie showed her first vulnerable moment with taht shotgun in her face. She’s left with nothing so she appears on Fiona’s doorstep where they can now join forces. It’s funny how everyone comes together in times of need. Everyone seems to have the 2 sided nature of “good & evil” in this show, it’s pretty amazing the duality that lives in each character & how they can portray both sides of extreme witch bitch & basic empathy towards humanity. This episode was one of the most emotional as well, the music, the message, the scenery, the connections, the death & coming around of characters… I got a little teary eyed, a first for AHS. It was another legendary episode to go down in the books. “The Magical Death of Stevie Nicks” (& her premiere) is up next on JAN 8, ugh… talk about a long wait! – CJ

LADY GAGA – ARTPOP (Track by Track Review)

AURA – Sitting in the middle of a dessert with my banjo watching Kill Bill (slash that), starring in Machete Kills! Cool guitar intro into Terminator effects & edgy electronics. Do you want to me see me naked? It’s club ready, spacey, taking off to another planet. It’s perfect for the Robert Rodriguez film & I look forward to seeing the movie, as well as her acting debut.

VENUS – We’re dropped off in Venus on Rocket #9 & I feel like I’m in an Austin Powers movie. I want to be taken to the leader; I hope it’s the Fembots! I love the changes in the track & the chorus. Gets a little cheesy when she’s saying all the planets, otherwise, it’s a little out there & I like it. And I do feel very Aphrodite in a seashell bikini while hearing it, or rather, a fierce spacesuit.

G.U.Y. – We’re now watching a live performance via Skype from the planet Eros, God of sexual desire… and the track is just that. Out comes the alien seductress who wants to be his GUY (Girl Under You), b/c she’s from another dimension, role playing & she wants to unearth you! It’s like an old freestyle track, with hyped electrodes & a sensual baseline.

SEXX DREAMS – Now we’re in a underground 80s house party, it’s hot & people are having naughty sex! It’s thumpy, humpy, RnB, dirty, doing nasty things & masturbating … then you’re making love to Optimus Prime… and then you wake up & realize it was all just a dream… or was it?

JEWELS N DRUGS (Feat T.I., Too Short & Twista) –ErrrrrrrrrrT! Featuring… “I’m not featuring it!” What’s this track doing here? Not Gaga at all. She obviously did this one to reach new audiences & compliment the RnB & hip hop aspect but it’s not really working… fast forward!

MANiCURE – It’s Grease & a little bit rock n roll. Is it a salon manicure, or having a man cure you? Oh it’s both? Ok, either way I’m boppin’ away & I’m addicted to love, feeling like a teen-aged cheerleader while rolling on my bed singing into my brush & kicking my feet up in the air, then trying on clothes back & forth in the mirror cause I’m feeling like a mannequin. I thought that was the name of the song & I think it would’ve better & made more sense with the cover of the album & tracks in general.

DO WHAT YOU WANT – I love the slow, deep baseline, simple, not over sung or overproduced & R. Kelly adds some flavor to it. I really can’t take him sometimes but who cares, I’m turned up in the club with a drink in my hand & taking shots in the back. This just hit the radio here in FL(we’re a little behind) & I’m sure it’ll be nice for the winter, time to make some babies. But, what was that performance on SNL?

ARTPOP – It’s grown on me & I’m really digging this Tetris track. It’s very much what she’s about & whatever theme or effect she’s giving really could mean anything if you pay more attention. Perhaps she’s becoming too artsy fartsy for some & losing a few along the way. She did a short film for this she just released yesterday & funny people ask, “What does it mean?” Well, she just told you, just like art, her art pop could mean anything.

SWINE – This one is a bit loud & obnoxious, like the message. I like the words but not the music. She supposedly they say she wrote this for Perez Hilton. On Howard Stern interview she says how Perez was trying to get a place to live next to her & just harassing her & being mean, and lots of people think he’s a pig.

DONATELLA – It’s an upper class, rich bitch runway track… nose in the air feeling fru fru, very Miami & LA. A bit shady, yet complimentary to Ms. Versace. It’s perfect for the next show, which brings us into…

FASHION! – A throwback to David Bowie, now turn to the left, now to the right. I love this track, more in the beginning than in the end. “I own the world, we own the world!” And let’s face it, when it comes to fashion, she really is on top!

MARY JANE HOLLAND –Amsterdam truly does have the most magical herbs, I know! The track is chill, smooth, relaxed & lit up! While everyone else talks about “smoking the best shit”, she’s taking a different approach& actually picturing herself as Mary Jane Holland, a star. It’s as if you were coming into a room with a bunch of the best weed for all your friends &was like, “Ladies & Gentlemen, I present to you… MARY JANE HOLLAND!” And the crowd goes wild… cause you know now-a-days, weed is the celebrity everyone loves!

DOPE – Sounds like I’m sitting at the piano drunk as hell& I wouldn’t doubt it if she was when recorded this one, it’s pretty raw, melancholy, honest & out there. They say the references to drugs on this album prevented some moms from buying it. She pushes the vocals! She’s talking about how she needs her family, boyfriend & fans more than dope. She mentioned it on Howard Stern & I think it’s had some effects on her along the way. It explains the hurting low (inside) from being high for so long (fame& drugs). She lost lots of audience members on the YouTube Awards when she performed this live cause she got all emotional, but she sang the shit out of it, as sloppy, sad & drunk as she appeared, but in an artful &detached way. Then, she performed it again in Brooklyn at the iHeartMusic release after a few words on how she’s still dealing with things & wow, she can really fucking sing & had much more control… it was pretty dope! You can check it out here.

GYPSY – She’s on a new path, out on the road, fresh, alive& looking on to the future from a new perspective. She no longer wants to be alone with the night. It also reminds me of one of my favorite movies, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” when the girls wanted to compete in the dance competition… a little flash dance & also reminds me of the studio dance scene in Marry The Night, which I keep hearing.

APPLAUSE – Now she’s back on stage & loving the applause, poking at both sides of it. She explained this one enough, it’s not about the ego of it all (but one can interpret it that way), more about how she does what she does to make people happy & that’s the end result. The video really enhanced the track & I appreciated it more after watching it. You can see the transition from leaving behind the Fame Monster & into a higher artistic form, lighter & more colorful.

Overall, she gives you a bit of everything, one track follows the other & plays along the themes of otherworldly, EDM, rock & RnB, sex, drugs & fashion, so it’s not that out there, just sounds different to lots of people b/c she’s trying to mix up so much. She admitted it was a little heavy but that was time she was going through, so you can feel the highs & lows on this album, as well as in some tracks. It’s my least favorite album from Gaga but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad one. It’s fun, upbeat, laid back & enjoyable if you give it a chance. I’ll give it a 6.5/7 out of 10 stars!

One Love,
Carlos (CJ) Mendez

American Horror Story – “Burn Witch, Burn”

Previously on American Horror Story… It’s 1833 & Lala’s serving Eyeball Stew & Surprise Intestines in her Chamber of Horrid Horrors, keeping her daughters in cages with shitty promises for Christmas. Cordelia loses her sight & gains another & Fifi goes on a twisted mission for drugs in the hospital. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the zombies are running amok. Fifi comes across a girl at the Asylum that lost her baby, telling her to talk to it, to tell her how beautiful she is & that she loves her more than the whole world. Poor girl was looking at her like she was one crazy witch! Then, she brings the baby back to the life. It was a moment of wanting to give back, seeing how much of a bad mother she’s been, training the girl in thought to be more loving. That scene deep & twisted to a baby T! Nan & neighbor are now stuck in the car… Nan girl you know you can’t do nothing, trying to save that boy, maybe she’ll get some, you know Nan. Lol I loved how Spalding gagged when they said, “Take them to your room”, waving back & forth ‘oh hell no no no’. Lala goes for ice & sees Borquita (Borquita, is that you?) feeling all bad crying… there’s just no way you can have pity on her black heart, as much as she’s trying to repent. Then it’s Borquita vs. Precious – Round 1 until Lala jumps in! Oh wait… is that Zoe ala Army of Darkness? OMG, she finally woke up & decided to join the party, increasing her powers. Be in your nature girl, I love a witch that knows how to fight! Marie falls on her ass at the salon & realizes “there’s some real power up in that house”. Fifi turns the crafty tables on Myrtle, who tried to warn them all but they agreed to “Burn The Witch” & then Queenie felt bad for frying that chicken on a stick, blinded as the next Supreme. And looks like Misty could use a meal, wandering around aimlessly in the woods, ain’t she hungry? Spalding is a mess… spraying all that Lysol, that stuff will kill you. Myrtle’s revived & I have a feeling she’s gonna return with a vengeance, giving you Darth Vader down! Oh what a world, what a world… tonight comes the witch hunter & it sure ain’t Dorothy! Is it 10pm yet?


“I want to start a rEvolution. But this rEvolution will not be televised, it won’t be on the internet, it won’t be an app available on your iPhone. You won’t be able to download it. This will be the rEvolution of thinking for yourself, of having your own opinion & not giving a damn what people say! This will be rEvolution of inquiring further, of not worrying about winning other people’s approvals, of not wishing you were someone else, being perfectly content with who you are, someone unique & rare & fearless. I want to start a rEvolution of LOVE! And this rEvolution will overcome all fear, suffering & separation & it will include all people. We’re all in this shit together!” – Madonna


Look At Me Now – Brazilian Butt Lift & Liposuction

Every morning I have to drive by a huge billboard with a picture of a big ass advertising Brazilian Butt Lift & Liposuction for $5,000. It says, “Look at me now!” I took a pic about 2 months ago & was waiting for the right time to share it. First I thought how I don’t even see much of a difference & angles work wonders. I really didn’t have a basis to talk about it further, and as a guy, most guys would think it’s a hot pic. But I was thinking something deeper & I couldn’t quite find the words for this billboard.

Brazilian Butt Lift & Lipo
Today, a friend posted something touching on the subject & I couldn’t have said it better. She said it perfectly, and coming from a women, it felt more authentic & relatable. She said, “I had a conversation this morning with a friend and it made me realize how skewed body image is for so many women. Especially in this city (Miami). Please realize that beauty comes in all shapes and colors. We are not meant to be Jennifer Lopez or Kim Kardashian or a Victoria Secret model or Beyonce or some plastic filled barbie doll with a size 3 waist double D breast and a fake Nicki Minaj ass. We are human and that’s part of our beauty. Embrace what is unique of ourselves. We are all different. LOVE yourself beyond any image that’s fed to you on TV or a magazine cover. I’m all for being healthy and working out and eating right….Obesity is no laughing matter…but having an average sized body is OK. If no one tells you today….YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST AS YOU ARE.” – Maria M from Miami.

She also shared this pic with her thoughts.

Victoria Secret vs Dove Beauty

That reminded me of a great Dove commercial I saw not long ago on YouTube regarding beauty, it was very insightful to see how some women see themselves. She thanked me for sharing, as I thanked her for being true to herself.

This all leads to more questions about the mental health of our society. Why do we need to be exposed to this nonsense? I’m not even a girl & I’m offended. And speaking of Brazil, over 5 yrs ago they did away with all kinds of advertisements (they got fed up with “visual pollution”) & since then, the land & mental health of people has improved. That says a lot!

“Imagine a city of 11 million inhabitants stripped of all its advertising. It’s nearly impossible when the clutter and color of our current urban landscapes seem inextricably entwined with the golden arches of McDonald’s or the deep reds of Coca-Cola. ”

Five Years After Banning Outdoor Ads, Brazil’s Largest City Is More Vibrant Than Ever

One Thing Leads To The Next

Random synchronicities have been catching up with me more than I can keep up with them. I often write about things, put them aside & wait for the right time to come up. And it always does, whether it be days, weeks or months later. But, lately, the time is always now.

I’m finding connections & messages so I want to keep sharing them b/c I can’t keep up with journal notes that I’ll get back to later. That’s what this blog is for so I’m gonna put it more to use aside from pics & quotes.

Here’s what I experienced this morning…

I saw a pic of a girl searching through library index cards… the pic said “Pre-Historic Googling”. I thought that was pretty funny. That led me to think about IQ’s, which led me to an article that led to lyrics of a song & then a video I’ve never heard before, which led me to what I posted yesterday about a movie I saw… and well… everything was in sync! This all happened in about 5 mins.

So it started with this pic…

That made me think how with technology, science & medicine being what it is today, you’d think that we’ve become smarter over the years, but in fact it’s the opposite, our IQ as a society has dropped.

People Getting Dumber

IQ of Western Civilization Dropped Since The Victorian Age

And while searching for an article on “IQ society drop”, this link came up with the key words to some lyrics of a song I’ve never heard before called “Hyperactive – Message To The Future”.

LYRICS: Hyperactive – Message To The Future

The lyrics were pretty on point with today so I searched further to see that the video was just published on YouTube about a week ago, 9.16.13. Great video, too!

And all this just circles back to what I wrote about yesterday for a movie review. I AM

I AM – The Documentary – CJ’s Review

No coincidences, just synchronicities!